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Boost your self-esteem

Most people under-value themselves, especially their skills and capabilities and achievements.

For whatever reasons we tend to focus on our failings while we look at other people’s successes. And when we start comparing ourselves with others that way, we usually come out as losers.

It’s probably not surprising. We’re more aware of our ‘weaknesses’ and ‘shortcomings than others, and usually maintain them as some kind of guilty secret, hoping that people won’t find out.

And usually in those quiet moments in our minds, we will so often run videos in our minds of past events, and look at all the things that went wrong rather than all the things that went right.

So it isn’t surprising that we so often give ourselves a distorted picture of ourselves.

Pretty stupid, when you think about it.

So what’s the answer?

It’s all about changing your view of yourself – and that means changing the mental pictures and the videos you run in your mind. This doesn’t have to be hard. But you can afford to take a little time to practice this. And it really will be worth it.

First trick. Buy yourself a book or pad you can keep for writing things in, and call this your ‘Magic Moments Book’.

What you’re going to do is record in this book some of those great times when you were a big hit, or something you organised worked out really well. You could think of it as a positive review of your life achievements – things you can justifiably be proud of. And when you spend a few moments thinking, I’m sure there will be plenty.

Keep the book with you and just write things into the book as you think about them. Every time you remember a great moment, make a note of it.

You don’t need to make a big issue of it, just write the main details. And leave out any of the bad or embarrassing moments. You want to remember the good stuff.

And perhaps, at the end of each day, you might review the day’s activities and remind yourself of what you did well, what went well, the good points of the day, the highlights.

Write them in.

You see, the mere act of writing them in the book will bring them to the forefront of your mind so that next time you take a glance through your life, you’ll be more than likely to remember those than the bad moments.

Plus, the fact that you’re ‘looking’ for those moments will activate your unconscious mind to search for them. So you’ll be more likely to remember more and more of them.

And every now and again, you might care to flick through the book and allow yourself the pleasure of basking a little in the glory of your achievements.

Sure, it’s a simple trick. But it works. It helps to remind you that you’re not as ‘bad’ as you thought – in fact, there’s plenty there to be proud of.

And after a week or two, when you come to realise just how much better you are than the awful shit you’ve been putting on yourself, it’s going to make you that much more confident. And that’s going to influence your body language so that you’re going to project your confidence to other people.

Self-esteem is not bragging or developing an inflated idea of you capabilities. It’s more about putting them in perspective. And stopping you judging yourself unfairly.

If, however, this doesn’t work, and you’re troubled by your attitude towards yourself, then perhaps a brief consultation with one of our counsellors will help. We’ve treated many people who suffer from lack of self-esteem, often with a single session of hypnosis.

Call us on 01 201 6216 for an appointment. Really it’s worth it.

Self-esteem affects the way you work and interact with other people. And isn’t if better to project yourself in the best possible light? It’s worth it for the incredible benefits you get in respect from others as well as respect for yourself.

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